thanks

so i just checked our blog, which i haven't done in forever, and realized that the last post was way back in september.
i hadn't even noticed that mark had posted...it probably wouldn't have meant as much as it does reading it now.
i don't really have anything inspiring to say, i guess i just wanted to tell you guys thank you.
the last few months have been hard on me...all of you know that because you've heard the story a million times.
i just like that i feel at home with all of you, like i can tell you my stories over and over and i know that you'll listen.
i know that you'll care when i'm having a bad day, and that i can actually be honest.
i've never really believed it when people told me that they cared about me, but i'm starting to...
with all of you.
i think all of you mean it...that perhaps you actually like me, and might even care.
that's a nice feeling.
like a hug, or sunshine when i'm cold.
the holidays are here...and the noise is getting turned up.
that word describes it nicely...thanks mark.
i wish for all of you that it would go smoother...that things would be easier this time, this year, this holiday season,
but the reality is that it might not and i hope that's okay too.
all the pain getting stirred up...all the things we should have said or not said,
all the time we've spent over this past year abusing each other and being selfish.
i hope that if all that does come up that you have peace.
that you can stand in the storm of hustle & bustle,
of ribbons and bows and presents,
and food and travel and stress,
and expectations and short tempers and regret...
that you could stand still as it all tosses around you,
and that somehow you could be at peace.
i don't know how to do that...
so my prayer is for me too.
but i'm learning how,
and you all are making that process so much easier.
...thanks.